I don’t think my mother understands that I have been AuADHD all my life and didn’t just “catch” it a few years ago. Like you, I was always quite academic and read lots of books and did reasonably well at every educational level - from O levels (you were born in the year that I was in Lower Sixth, now called Year 12), A levels, Undergraduate Degree and a professional qualification. So no one thought to question why I had difficulties making decisions, was impulsive, disorganised, chronically clumsy and demand avoidant. I was teased for it by my family. It was only when I was perimenopausal that the symptoms got worse and I could no longer mask. I don’t think anyone who isn’t neurodivergent understands how exhausting it is. And they confuse intelligence with executive function. Yes, ask me to write an essay on the socio-political factors that cause poverty and I’m your gal. Ask me to balance my bank account or decide what to take with me on holiday (apart from everything) and I’ve got nothing 🤷♀️
Thank you for being so honest and writing about your experiences so some of us don’t feel quite so alone ❤️
Oh gosh " they confuse intelligence with executive function" is the story of my entire life so far! I was diagnosed with ADHD in December (I'm 50) and was strongly advised to seek an ASD assessment too. I've never struggled with complex academic and creative ideas, just with doing everyday mundane tasks. Funny how that actually makes you look useless in today's society where box-ticking is key! I'm slowly coming to terms with who I've always been along with lots of internalised chronic pain, anxiety and sensory stuff that I am learning come with the Audhd territory. Beyond grateful for articles like this and comments like yours that make me feel less alone ☺️✨
I have a t-shirt that says “Late Diagnosed ADHD Club. Meeting at some point” which is so true. My whole life has been me saying “Plans! Why did I make plans?”. No, you are not alone x
So many of us share the same story. I am so sorry you suffered and were doubted for so long. My diagnoses were not until 49-50, when I was dealing with my mother’s death and emergency surgery recovery (open ventral hernia repair) complications. Yep, autistic and hEDS at the root. I’m into my early 50’s now, on disability finally, and making peace with my life.
I can really emphasize with all of this. I’m now 62, was officially diagnosed as autistic at 58. Recently found out that I probably have hEDS, possibly POTS and genetic testing showed Loeys-Dietz Syndrome. It’s interesting to me that receiving those medical diagnoses felt a lot like receiving my autism dx- it allows me to look back at younger me with so much compassion. I was trying *so* hard! And, it turns out, my struggles weren’t due to a lack of effort. Crazy
I don’t think my mother understands that I have been AuADHD all my life and didn’t just “catch” it a few years ago. Like you, I was always quite academic and read lots of books and did reasonably well at every educational level - from O levels (you were born in the year that I was in Lower Sixth, now called Year 12), A levels, Undergraduate Degree and a professional qualification. So no one thought to question why I had difficulties making decisions, was impulsive, disorganised, chronically clumsy and demand avoidant. I was teased for it by my family. It was only when I was perimenopausal that the symptoms got worse and I could no longer mask. I don’t think anyone who isn’t neurodivergent understands how exhausting it is. And they confuse intelligence with executive function. Yes, ask me to write an essay on the socio-political factors that cause poverty and I’m your gal. Ask me to balance my bank account or decide what to take with me on holiday (apart from everything) and I’ve got nothing 🤷♀️
Thank you for being so honest and writing about your experiences so some of us don’t feel quite so alone ❤️
Oh gosh " they confuse intelligence with executive function" is the story of my entire life so far! I was diagnosed with ADHD in December (I'm 50) and was strongly advised to seek an ASD assessment too. I've never struggled with complex academic and creative ideas, just with doing everyday mundane tasks. Funny how that actually makes you look useless in today's society where box-ticking is key! I'm slowly coming to terms with who I've always been along with lots of internalised chronic pain, anxiety and sensory stuff that I am learning come with the Audhd territory. Beyond grateful for articles like this and comments like yours that make me feel less alone ☺️✨
I have a t-shirt that says “Late Diagnosed ADHD Club. Meeting at some point” which is so true. My whole life has been me saying “Plans! Why did I make plans?”. No, you are not alone x
The title sucked me in immediately! Oh how many times I've been called this. Thank you for your words on this. Beautifully said!
So many of us share the same story. I am so sorry you suffered and were doubted for so long. My diagnoses were not until 49-50, when I was dealing with my mother’s death and emergency surgery recovery (open ventral hernia repair) complications. Yep, autistic and hEDS at the root. I’m into my early 50’s now, on disability finally, and making peace with my life.
I can really emphasize with all of this. I’m now 62, was officially diagnosed as autistic at 58. Recently found out that I probably have hEDS, possibly POTS and genetic testing showed Loeys-Dietz Syndrome. It’s interesting to me that receiving those medical diagnoses felt a lot like receiving my autism dx- it allows me to look back at younger me with so much compassion. I was trying *so* hard! And, it turns out, my struggles weren’t due to a lack of effort. Crazy